Examples of Parental Alienation, part 6

by admin on October 8, 2010

Emphasize Agreement

Whenever the children say they like doing something, do you make sure that they know that you love it too even if you do not really? Do you say “But, your mother/father and I just never got to do it (assuming you didn’t.)”  The point here being do you emphasize the bond between the two of you and divide them from the other parent?  Each time it is almost nothing, but each time it adds up.  Each time might only be the width of a piece of paper, but if you stack them up over the years, soon you will have a big stack of paper dividing the kids from the ex.  This is alienating.

Here is an example: a client had an ex who absolutely hated going to see movies when they were married.  Once divorced, the kids did enjoy movies.  This ex-wife, then proceeded to always say how much she always loved movies only because the kids did, while stating that the ex didn’t even though in the past it was the exact opposite.  The kids ended up believing the opposite of reality no matter how often the father said he liked going to see movies, the kids believed he did not regardless of the fact that testimony showed that the mother rarely went to the movies when married.  It ruined the children’s enjoyment of something with the target father.

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